Dating post divorce

I can remember being a 20 something, thinking how easy it was to date and how exciting it was. I thought after my separation I quickly learned after my first couple of times, I was sadly mistaken. I did meet a few nice people that I dated for a while, but they wanted to hop from one relationship to another. Some wanted to have someone to take care of them. Others wanted to change me to what they wanted. SOme could not handle my strong personality. If you are going to date after divorce here are some simple tips.

First, do not get into a major relationship for some time. How long is up to you, you will know when you are ready. You are going to have the proverbial rebound relationship. It is not going to be pretty as that person may not be and is actually looking for a relationship with you.

Second, strike a balance between staying home by yourself and going out clubbing. This is a time for you to heal your mind and soul. Jumping into a relationship will further prolong your recovery. You can go out and have a good time, just don’t fall in love with someone within a couple of weeks.

Third, watch out for those who will take advantage of your kindness while you are in a vulnerable state. I was seeing this girl, and her power was getting shut off for a couple of weeks until she could afford to turn it back on when she gets her divorce settlement. A couple of weeks turned out to be like 6 months and she still didn’t want to leave. I did get her out with a huge line of bullshit, but I did have a broken mirror on my car 6 weeks later.

I dated another person on and off who was wonderful until after a while it was apparent she wanted someone to be more of a servant. The sex was great and some of the stuff we did together was fun, but I should not b fixing things for you that your landlord should be fixing. Plus her kids would treat her as a servant versus a parent which did not sit well with me.

So after three years, I found someone completely by accident. We kept showing up in each other feeds and we both said why not. We met the Sunday before Thanksgiving at the Confectionary Wine Bar. We hit it off almost immediately. We are now coming up on a year and I am very happy. I am glad I waited and held out until I could find someone special once again. I have truly found my equal.

Doug

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